Are you a good friend?

There is more to being a friend than just saying they are your friend. There is more to it than talking everyday. There certainly is more to it than just seeing the person regularly.For one, friends don’t let friends leave the house looking like a hurricane just passed through and all their good clothes were blown away. Friends don’t let friends walk around with a possible bird nest on their head. This is just basics.

Have you ever seen someone and thought to yourself “Wow, they must not have any friends?” I see it too often.

A friendship should always be honest. If your friend doesn’t look up to par, tell them, but try not to embarrass them. There is a right and wrong way to do things, especially if you know that your friend is sensitive.

When asked, you should always give them an honest answer even if it may hurt their feelings a little. Obviously if they asked for your opinion it’s because they want the truth.

Friends do not use each other. Ever had that one “friend” who only talks to you when they need something? That’s not a friend. That person is using you. I have friends that have vehicles and I always shake my head as I watch them carry someone from place to place, but the minute the car stops working this person is nowhere to be found. Hmm, I wonder why.

When your friend is wrong, let them know they are wrong. Too many times I’ve seen someone enter an altercation and even though the person involved is completely wrong and out of line, the other person stands up for them. You are not helping your friend at all. In fact, I don’t consider that an act of friendship.

“Time” does not matter in friendships. If you are truly friends, not hearing from the person in several days would not make you stop being their friend. Maybe they have life problems to deal with, maybe they don’t feel like speaking at the moment. True friends can go months without speaking to each other and when they finally do, it’s like they never stopped speaking at all.

Does your friend have habits that are of concern to you? You should voice them. You don’t have to ask them to change, but you should let it be known that it bothers you. Maybe you can find middle ground.

Now, here are some things that get iffy to when it comes to friendships.

Do you drop a friend because they do not get along with your Boyfriend//Girlfriend? This is something that bothers me. I’ve seen friendships come to an end because their friend didn’t see eye to eye with their significant other. Why should they get along? Your relationship is your relationship. It really has nothing to do with your friend.

If your friend sees your significant other cheating on you do you expect them to tell you? and if they don’t would you drop them? This is something to really think about. For one, unless it can be backed up by complete, undeniable facts, the friend shouldn’t even bring it up. However, say you see the Person in question tonguing down someone who isn’t your friend, would you tell them? If your answer is “No” then you’re not a very good friend. How can you sit there, and watch your friend be all cuddly with someone who was just tongue wrestling another person. Don’t you feel a tinge of guilt knowing that you are letting your friend continue in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect them? If you can, I shake my head at you. That’s just awful.

If a friend gets into a physical fight are you supposed to get involved even if it doesn’t concern you? Suppose the people fighting are both friends of yours, how do you respond to this? I’ve never had this problem. Why? Because I am never around when an altercation takes place. How would I handle this? I’m a big girl, I’ll just stop the damn thing. Honestly, life is too short to be fighting and I’m sure majority of the time the fight is over something completely retarded.  Unless I have been physically harmed, I’m not about to attack someone. Let’s all just be mature about the situation. I rather handle the situation where at least my friend an I can walk away without any repercussions, as opposed to it being one big stupid fight and someone ends up dead or in jail.

And, lastly  if your friend doesn’t like someone are you supposed to dislike that person as well? Doesn’t that just sound awfully petty? Why should you dislike someone that has done nothing to you just because your friend doesn’t like them? I feel that unless someone gives you a reason to dislike them, then you shouldn’t be so quick to dislike them as well. Though, because people are so petty, because your friend doesn’t like someone, that person naturally hates you as well because you are that person’s friend. It is sad, but that is the world we live in.

In all, being honest is the best way to keep and maintain a friendship. You should both be working to make each other better people. Due to society, you are who you hang out with, but it only makes sense. If you hang out with trouble, trouble is sure to find you regardless if you are involved or not. So, be wary of those you call friends and be good to those that are good to you.

Tata for now!

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Broken

And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened.

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At the Wall

Lately, I’ve been an emotional mess.

I cry for no reason, I snap at people for simply asking “Are you okay?”, I feel like burning down houses and then sitting on the ground and crying because the flames would be so pretty and probably because I forgot to take some important things out of the house before committing Arson.

I feel utterly alone even though I really am not, but then I hate to burden others with my problems. Everyone has problems.  What makes mines special?  So I’d sit there, huddled in a corner letting layer upon layer of doubts and concerns and insecurities build over each other until I become stifled and breakdown…Only to repeat the process again. Then I’d make someone who was having a shitty day laugh and be strong for them all the while slowly deteriorating on the inside.

And this is normal…but I say I’ve been a mess because it’s so much worse now.

I always have time for folks. I have too much time on my hands actually. But even when I’m so busy that I might suffocate on all the things I have to do, I always have time for people. After a long day and I’m literally about to collapse on myself, someone would call or text and rather than getting the rest I would so desperately need, I make time for these people…who never have time for me.  How’s the saying go? “If you’re important to another person they will always find a way to make time for you; No excuses, No lies, No broken Promises..”

Ha.

I think I try too hard. I give my all for absolutely no reason. My grandmother always says that it’s supposed to bring good things in the end, but I’m not seeing it. And the messed up part of it all, is that I’m not going to learn. I’m still going to be such a wonderful person to people.

But I’ve hit a wall now.

Before, I used to think that the statement “Tired of being Tired” was stupid. But Now I understand. I am so tired.

I’m at this Wall, and I’m just soo tired…Too tired to climb over it, Too tired to go around it, and far too tired to knock it down.

Instead, I sit and cry infront of this wall, Bitch about how unfair life is and how I just need emotional-support; Whine about the firm hand I need to feel on my back saying “It’s okay, Kida, I’m here for you.”

But when it’s all said and done, I’ll just have puffy red eyes, a running nose, and look at a complete mess.

And the Wall will still be there.