The Curse of being Female

Sometimes I damn my Uterus.

I know what you’re thinking, she’s about to rampage about females and their periods, but guess what, that’s only partially correct.

I don’t think men understand how lucky they are to be men. They don’t have to worry about periods, or child birth, or the wind blowing too hard and you get a yeast infection (These things are so stupidly easy to get).

And I know there are some women out there dying to spew the “I’m proud to be a woman, childbirth is a gift, blah blah blah” but can you honestly say that there aren’t days when you drop on your knees and go “WHY WAS I CURSED WITH A VAGINA?” because I know I certainly have on many occasions.

And let me tell you, having a child is a gift in and of itself, I won’t deny that, but the birthing process is not beautiful in the least. The end result is like a crime scene just happened in and around your vagina. And babies aren’t as cute when they just slip out either, they are covered in blood and the umbilical cord is gross to look at and you feel like crap or in my case high thanks to the epidural. Oh and you know what, you might rip the skin from your vagina to your butt and have to get stitches which makes using the bathroom and even sitting down highly uncomfortable.

Just so you know.

Guys, you don’t have to worry about this. Aren’t you lucky. I don’t know what men get as a substitute to a period, but I can only assume if there is none then suffering with our bipolar moods and constant cravings are punishment enough on your part. Oh, and if you have girlfriend, lack of vaginal sex….unless you’re into that…which all I can say is….ew. Most females I know are stuck between being overly hormonal and horny but thoroughly pissed because they can’t engage in the act,and wanting to rip the man’s head from his shoulders because he doesn’t have to deal with it.

A guy once told me, “I bet if Eve didn’t eat that apple girls wouldn’t have periods.” But here’s an interesting perspective, What if Eve ate the damn apple because she was on her period and craving apples but Adam was too fucking lazy to go find another one so she just ate the nearest available one? Yeah she was told not to, but when you’re bleeding from your crotch, rational and logic are wasted on you.

Just saying.



The Curling Iron Chronicles pt 2

428046_191677704311433_1262303065_n1I did my hair again today although I was tempted to leave it in a ponytail because today is Friday and I was feel way too lazy to actually do anything, especially after having to wake up at 7am to run some errands. Anyways, this is was yesterday’s progress (the picture to your left) I think I did a pretty decent job even though you can’t really see much. Still, some progress is better than no progress. Imagine something as simple as this resulted in so much rage and frustration. Sometimes I feel like just cutting off all my hair and pulling an Amber Rose, but the fear of my hair never growing back keeps me from doing so. If the picture looks familiar, it’s because I liked it so much I made it the picture for my Biography.

Now about today’s progress. (Picture on right)486104_192041997608337_1434583502_n Still simple (Like I have a choice. I need a curling for dummies book). I think it’s kind of cute. I purposely butchered a Hibiscus bush just to get that flower. I thought it was fitting. I’m an island girl after all, so I should look floral right? No? Not the right Moment? Gotcha, another time then. Maybe when I’m waltzing around in a dress I’ll try the flower this again. Oh look, there’s a headband! Nice touch wouldn’t you agree? If you must know the shirt says “Warning. I have an attitude and I know how to use it!” I look friendly though don’t I? I hope so. The last thing I need is some poor unsuspecting freshman to think I’m a Itch with A B, and avoid me, but at the same time at least this gives them some reason to be cautious.

Now about this hair. I only curled the front at first because I can never get the back of my hair correct. That right there is my weakness. So I had to stay there for about 15 minutes (I lie, it was more like 30) Curling the back over and over again until I was absolutely positive there were no flat ends. I think I still missed some, but hey, I think I accomplished my goal. The worst thing about this is when the curls keep coming undone. But there’s a simple solution to that. I just spritz the hell out of ends to make sure those unruly strands keep themselves in place. Ha! Take that Hair! I win! Kida 1. Hair 15 …not that I’m keeping score or anything.

Till Another time! tata!