I began this year doing pretty well with my weight loss. I was putting effort into eating right, I was going to PT on time, I was doing extra PT at home. I mean, I was a fucking beast. I can do at least 3 pushups now. That may not mean much to you, but for someone with no upper body strength and who was pretty much a lazy piece of shit that means plenty! I’m sure I can run and do more situps than I ever could before.
However, now I seem to be going backwards instead of forward. I don’t know what happened. Maybe it was the building stress, maybe it was hormones, maybe it was the lack of sex, who really knows. But one day I got up and I was pretty much going food crazy. I was eating everything like a mad woman.
I would then look at my growing pudge and tell myself, It’s okay, You can work it off tomorrow…I’m still waiting for tomorrow to come.
I have this one friend that has a habit of putting me down all the time. Friends apparently do that, but there’s a certain tone and process that one goes about when insulting a friend. For one, when you can obviously see that they feel gross, you don’t tell them that they are gross. It hurts, it sucks, and for a while I felt like absolute shit and wanted to stab her in the eye with a ballpoint papermate black ink pen. I sat in my bedroom and wallowed for a bit while the voice in my head was going “I am a fucking loser” with my hands widespread in the air, shouting up to the rainbows. Then I got over it. I literally woke up and said this bitch has nothing on me. And you know why? Because I’m awesome. duh.
I haven’t written about love in a while and let me tell you, not thinking about that shit has done wonders for my health. I love my boyfriend dearly and although things seemed rough for a moment, I realized that it was all in my head. I was manifesting problems that were not there because my heart is obviously full of shit, So I had to remind her kindly to mind her gotdamn motherfucking business and that her job was pump blood and not a damn thing else.
I’ve seen people do some crazy shit for love and It concerns me a little. I mean, if the world was the kind of place where you had to shoot yourself to show your love, I’m sure a lot of people would be dead. Why? Because they like the attention and want to make it seem like they have the perfect love life. Now, I’m not saying I don’t love my boyfriend enough to shoot myself, but If I had to, I was shooting myself in the leg. The thigh preferably. I mean, I love you, but I’m not a friggin idiot.
To add to that, Have you noticed how people make everything harder than it should be? A yes or not question can turn into an essay sometimes and I think that’s what makes things difficult. Be honest with yourself. Sometimes you may be wrong, but shit, it’s better than beating around the bush. At the end, your choices are what matters. Ask me if I want to beat certain people in the head with a 40 pound rucksack. Of course I do. I’ll tell you yes. I’ll yell it to the high heavens. That doesn’t mean I’m going to do it though….yet.
Jurassic Park is in 3D, so it’s pretty much like Titanic and the Lion King on the list of movies that are ancient but were remade so you can see the shit flying at you to give you a semi-heart attack and so you can waste your money to see the exact same fucking movie you watched a decade ago.
But I digress.
I saw someone write “Rawr” means I love you in dinosaur. And I admit, I used to write it too because it sounded cute…until I realized how moronic it is. This isn’t “A land before time” Little foot may have made you believe that dinosaurs are cute and musical but Even little foot can stomp the shit out of you on a good day just because she/he/it could. What the hell was little foot anyways? A guy? If so, clearly he needed to hit puberty with that high pitched, whiny voice.
If you have never seen Jurrasic Park or any dinosaur movie, then I suggest you take a gander at them and you will learn that “rawr” doesn’t mean “I love you” it means “I’m going to fucking eat you.”
You know what’s sexy? Suits and Uniform oh, and my guy’s sleepy voice. I don’t know why but these make my hormones levels raise to heights that would one would consider above and beyond normal.