The Curse of being Female

Sometimes I damn my Uterus.

I know what you’re thinking, she’s about to rampage about females and their periods, but guess what, that’s only partially correct.

I don’t think men understand how lucky they are to be men. They don’t have to worry about periods, or child birth, or the wind blowing too hard and you get a yeast infection (These things are so stupidly easy to get).

And I know there are some women out there dying to spew the “I’m proud to be a woman, childbirth is a gift, blah blah blah” but can you honestly say that there aren’t days when you drop on your knees and go “WHY WAS I CURSED WITH A VAGINA?” because I know I certainly have on many occasions.

And let me tell you, having a child is a gift in and of itself, I won’t deny that, but the birthing process is not beautiful in the least. The end result is like a crime scene just happened in and around your vagina. And babies aren’t as cute when they just slip out either, they are covered in blood and the umbilical cord is gross to look at and you feel like crap or in my case high thanks to the epidural. Oh and you know what, you might rip the skin from your vagina to your butt and have to get stitches which makes using the bathroom and even sitting down highly uncomfortable.

Just so you know.

Guys, you don’t have to worry about this. Aren’t you lucky. I don’t know what men get as a substitute to a period, but I can only assume if there is none then suffering with our bipolar moods and constant cravings are punishment enough on your part. Oh, and if you have girlfriend, lack of vaginal sex….unless you’re into that…which all I can say is….ew. Most females I know are stuck between being overly hormonal and horny but thoroughly pissed because they can’t engage in the act,and wanting to rip the man’s head from his shoulders because he doesn’t have to deal with it.

A guy once told me, “I bet if Eve didn’t eat that apple girls wouldn’t have periods.” But here’s an interesting perspective, What if Eve ate the damn apple because she was on her period and craving apples but Adam was too fucking lazy to go find another one so she just ate the nearest available one? Yeah she was told not to, but when you’re bleeding from your crotch, rational and logic are wasted on you.

Just saying.



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